This is me all day err day. I know I should be sleeping when he’s sleeping but I just finished washing all the breast pump pieces and I have to go back to feeding him and pumping in 5 minutes. Nursing is the hardest thing I had to do because I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s a mental game to not lose it. I had a breakdown at the pediatrician’s office today when I found out how much weight he lost. Mom guilt is real.
I’m seeing a lactation specialist today and I’m hoping they teach me how to feed without pain. We also started supplementing with formula so things are better today. He’s sleeping more and I’m crying less. There are moments where I’m chained to him and I go through the motions of just trying to help him survive, while being sleep deprived and suddenly jolting awake.
But then there are quiet moments where I stop to pray (and cry some more) to thank God for this beautiful boy. I try to pause and stare at the details of his little face and stroke his tiny feet. I am so grateful to be his caretaker on earth and always try to stay in the moment…even through the hard times. I never knew I wanted to be a mom until I became one. I’m a living testimony that God can change people’s hearts ❤ #thelincolnlog
